Interracial love and natural hair

Hello Ladies~
I have been transitioning since July and I'm super excited to BC in March. I am currently in an interracial relationship and he's awesome. He has only known me with relaxed, shoulder length hair.
He's been really supportive about my transition and is actually excited. He can't wait until I can get my hair wet without having a fit. But as my BC approaches, I am getting more and more nervous about his reaction to me having a TWA. He says that he'll find me beautiful no matter how my hair is, but I'm still scared.

So my questions are: Are you in an interracial relationship and currently transitioning or 100% natural? How did your non-black SO handle your transition and react to your BC and TWA.

Thanks ladies.

Im not in an interracial relationship, but I get more compliments from my white male coworkers on my natural hair than I did from my black SO. I find non-blacks to be much more tolerant of natural hair than blacks (males and females). Of course since its foreign to them they may have tons of questions but I believe your SO when he says he'll find you beautiful regardless. Good luck.

adiaha wrote:Im not in an interracial relationship, but I get more compliments from my white male coworkers on my natural hair than I did from my black SO. I find non-blacks to be much more tolerant of natural hair than blacks (males and females). Of course since its foreign to them they may have tons of questions but I believe your SO when he says he'll find you beautiful regardless. Good luck.

I totally agree. I get more compliments from non-blacks.

I met my boyfriend (very British punk rock kid) while I was transitioning. When I told him what I was trying to do, he became extremely supportive. Turned out, he LOVES natural hair. Not merely because he finds it "exotic", but he finds us EXTREMELY CONFIDENT. So when he found out I was going natural, that was like the hook, line and sinker. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] More than a year after the big chop (and nearly two years of being together), he STILL can't keep his hands and face out of my hair--he won't stop touching or smelling it! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Lynnieluve wrote:

adiaha wrote:Im not in an interracial relationship, but I get more compliments from my white male coworkers on my natural hair than I did from my black SO. I find non-blacks to be much more tolerant of natural hair than blacks (males and females). Of course since its foreign to them they may have tons of questions but I believe your SO when he says he'll find you beautiful regardless. Good luck.

I totally agree. I get more compliments from non-blacks.

I always disagree when I hear people say this. Black women always compliment me on my hair and ask questions about it. The black man I married (and the ones I've dated in the past) have always loved my hair. My non-black boyfriends never really commented on my hair and non-blacks in general rarely ever say anything to me about it. Actually, the most comments I've heard from non-blacks was when I'd straighten my hair and they'd tell me how good it looks.

@BajanPrincess

Sometimes it depends on where you live and the general mindset of the people there. In some places, straight hair is still preferred whether or not its openly stated or wrapped within a compliment. In others, natural hair is seen as merely a "trend" that is hoped to go away after awhile. And still in OTHERS, natural hair is accepted and maybe even a norm.

As far as the men go, ALL the black men *I* dated was when I had relaxed hair, so I can't really say if they'd accept me at all if I was natural back then. Probably not--here in NYC, long hair is still a preferred look so I doubt it.

LadyMika - I was thinking about that. Maybe its a regional thing, or maybe its just my unique experience. I've been natural all my life, so I've never dated a black guy that didn't like my curly hair (or he probably wouldn't have dated me). I grew up in upstate NY, lived in VA and Germany, and now I'm in Oklahoma. Its been the same everywhere for me. Black people have always seemed to appreciate my curls, and the non-blacks have been fairly indifferent. I had a few German coworkers that used to compliment me on my hair, but is was mostly when I straightened it (like once every 4-6 months). You'd think I was an ugly duckling and turned into a swan with the way they fussed over my straight hair for those 1-2 weeks that it lasted.

BajanPrincess82 wrote:LadyMika - I was thinking about that. Maybe its a regional thing, or maybe its just my unique experience. I've been natural all my life, so I've never dated a black guy that didn't like my curly hair (or he probably wouldn't have dated me). I grew up in upstate NY, lived in VA and Germany, and now I'm in Oklahoma. Its been the same everywhere for me. Black people have always seemed to appreciate my curls, and the non-blacks have been fairly indifferent. I had a few German coworkers that used to compliment me on my hair, but is was mostly when I straightened it (like once every 4-6 months). You'd think I was an ugly duckling and turned into a swan with the way they fussed over my straight hair for those 1-2 weeks that it lasted.

That's interesting to hear! I guess it's a city thing where natural hair is either frowned upon or just treated indifferently for the most part (from MY experience so far). Up here, even though more and more naturals are coming out, straight hair is STILL a preferred norm. I still get funky stares from sistas who are relaxed and wear weaves on occasion. And my family? Forget it--I had to disown THEM(for other reasons) before they could disown ME. They're definitely trapped in the "long straight hair = beauty" mindset, and from what I hear, they haven't changed at all. But I'm sure if I straightened my hair again, they'd welcome me back with open arms and all the people who haven't said two words to me SINCE the big chop will flock to my desk. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] Damn shame.

There are never any hard fast rules when in cames to any people anywhere, but non blacks seem more taken with my natural hair than black people. White men especially seem to be intrigued.

You know...when I was wearing a sort of permed fro (if you will), before I got kinkys, I got all sorts of compliments from my white friends and acquaintances. It seems most white people love the idea of the 'wild' hair look. I even had one white girl say to me that she wished she had a fro. Here in Buffalo most blacks are terribly conformist, and if anything, I got looks/sideways glances from black guys w/fros. The few girls that are natural on campus here don't seem to notice other natural sistas. It's DEFINETLY a regional thing! But also, we can't forget about individual preference [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

To Popsbaby28:
My boyfriend is white and we have been together for 6 years and we were friends for 2 years before that. I just went natural November 2009, so most of our relationship I have had relaxed hair. He has been completely supportive of me going natural and it was actually his suggestion that I go natural when I first met him that made me even consider it (It took me nearly 8 years to finally realize what he already knew -must stay away from the kreamy krack). Once I warmed up to the idea of going natural and started to transition, he was with me the whole way. I have found that most non-blacks have no idea of what black hair can be or how much of an experience going natural can be for us. If he has supported you up to this point, your BC shouldn't make any difference because to him hair is just hair.

popsbaby28 wrote:Hello Ladies~
I have been transitioning since July and I'm super excited to BC in March. I am currently in an interracial relationship and he's awesome. He has only known me with relaxed, shoulder length hair.
He's been really supportive about my transition and is actually excited. He can't wait until I can get my hair wet without having a fit. But as my BC approaches, I am getting more and more nervous about his reaction to me having a TWA. He says that he'll find me beautiful no matter how my hair is, but I'm still scared.

So my questions are: Are you in an interracial relationship and currently transitioning or 100% natural? How did your non-black SO handle your transition and react to your BC and TWA.

Thanks ladies.

My husband has always been a fan on longer hair, but he was more into my natural hair and me not spending all day in the salon. So he was basically like....I'm excited to see it grow out. He gives the bestest scalp massages ever!

popsbaby28 wrote:Hello Ladies~
I have been transitioning since July and I'm super excited to BC in March. I am currently in an interracial relationship and he's awesome. He has only known me with relaxed, shoulder length hair.
He's been really supportive about my transition and is actually excited. He can't wait until I can get my hair wet without having a fit. But as my BC approaches, I am getting more and more nervous about his reaction to me having a TWA. He says that he'll find me beautiful no matter how my hair is, but I'm still scared.

So my questions are: Are you in an interracial relationship and currently transitioning or 100% natural? How did your non-black SO handle your transition and react to your BC and TWA.

Thanks ladies.

hi, i am in an "interracial"(i prefer inter-ethnic) relationship, i have been married for four years now. when i met my husband i had a relaxer, and when i decided to cut it of and start over he asked if i was sure, then fired up the clippers for me. recently we were discussing another post and he shared with me how he felt to help me cut my hair. he said he felt very privileged to share in such a liberating moment with me, he said he was nearly moved to tears. he had watched me struggle with my hair, and feel so much frustration to the point where i won't leave the house. had more to do with psychological issues than my actual hair.
your man knows he is with a black woman, right??? you have discussed this with him and he says he's fine, right???? so i am sure the showers you'll share, him getting to wash your hair, playing in it and swimming together, will more than make up for the lack of length and the hair grows back so fast, in two years it will be arm pit length, stretched of course!!!!!!

lexibugg004 wrote:

popsbaby28 wrote:Hello Ladies~
I have been transitioning since July and I'm super excited to BC in March. I am currently in an interracial relationship and he's awesome. He has only known me with relaxed, shoulder length hair.
He's been really supportive about my transition and is actually excited. He can't wait until I can get my hair wet without having a fit. But as my BC approaches, I am getting more and more nervous about his reaction to me having a TWA. He says that he'll find me beautiful no matter how my hair is, but I'm still scared.

So my questions are: Are you in an interracial relationship and currently transitioning or 100% natural? How did your non-black SO handle your transition and react to your BC and TWA.

Thanks ladies.

hi, i am in an "interracial"(i prefer inter-ethnic) relationship, i have been married for four years now. when i met my husband i had a relaxer, and when i decided to cut it of and start over he asked if i was sure, then fired up the clippers for me. recently we were discussing another post and he shared with me how he felt to help me cut my hair. he said he felt very privileged to share in such a liberating moment with me, he said he was nearly moved to tears. he had watched me struggle with my hair, and feel so much frustration to the point where i won't leave the house. had more to do with psychological issues than my actual hair.
your man knows he is with a black woman, right??? you have discussed this with him and he says he's fine, right???? so i am sure the showers you'll share, him getting to wash your hair, playing in it and swimming together, will more than make up for the lack of length and the hair grows back so fast, in two years it will be arm pit length, stretched of course!!!!!!

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I am in an interracial marriage(6th wedding anniversary-Feb 9). When my husband met me, I had dreadlocks to my waist. He loved the long hair but then he wanted to see it straight. Like a dummy, I cut my hair and wore it relaxed for a few years. After he realized that my hair was no where near as long as it was when we first met, he began to miss my natural hair. After feeling guilty about the whole ordeal, my hubby apologized for trying to change who I was. Now, he is all about the natural hair. He encourages me a lot more now, which is something I truly appreciate.

I am also in a interracial marriage (5 years and counting) When I married my husband I was perming and coloring my hair. I have been transitoning now for a year and I thought he would react a lil negative to my natural state but he has loved how creative I have been with my hair. and he loves to touch it. I have decided to BC and I spoke to him about it and he was very supportive he actually said " I am proud of you and how you have taken care of yourself. I love all types of hair" so if he has been supportive trust that he will continue to do so. He is more supportive than my friends and family who are black.

I'm in an interracial marriage as well and when I married my husband my hair was relaxed. When I decided to transition and go natural he was totally on board with the idea. Now that I'm 100% natural he loves the texture and versatility of my kinky curly hair and how it stands out in a room full of people. Sometimes his fingers are in my hair more than mine are (which is great when it comes time for a scalp massage [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] )! He is also enjoying the fact that my hair doesn't smell like chemicals anymore and always has a fresh clean scent. He has actually stated that he hated that my hair smelled like a chemestry lab when he curled up next to me at night. He is (and has always been) very supportive and loving, which made my transition to natural and staying natural much easier. We are both enjoying the confidence that my new healthier lifestyle (hair and body) has brought me. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I'm not in a an interracial relationship but more less an intercultural relationship. My boyfriend is Bajan American(first generation) and throughtout our courtship we have experienced differences because of cultural backgrounds. Even though we like different foods we share a common admiration for our love to one another and we wouldn't change that no matter where our families come from.

My boyfriend loves me for who I am and not what my hair looks like. In fact he requested I wear my hair natural on our wedding day, something I hadn't considered. Your boo loves you for you and that's something that shouldn't be overlooked or analyzed. God has blessed you with a partner that is genuinely loves you.

I'm in an interracial relationship (for a little over a year now) and my boyfriend absolutely adores my hair, but he's only seen it relaxed where it falls a bit past my shoulders. I'm transitioning right now, and he loves playing with the "curlies" as he calls it lol. I'm excited, I know he loves me and believes I'm beautiful no matter what, so I trust there won't be a difference when the BC comes (date to be determined lol).

MY HUSBAND LOVES MY HAIR .. IVE ALWAYS BEEN NATURAL but sometimes i go from straight to curly and he always finds me super sexy when my hair is big and curly [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
when our daughter was born he was kinda bummed that her hair was straight like his https://i.servimg.com/u/f65/14/85/12/30/01210.jpg im hoping that it gets curly when she is older lol

BajanPrincess82 wrote:

Lynnieluve wrote:

adiaha wrote:Im not in an interracial relationship, but I get more compliments from my white male coworkers on my natural hair than I did from my black SO. I find non-blacks to be much more tolerant of natural hair than blacks (males and females). Of course since its foreign to them they may have tons of questions but I believe your SO when he says he'll find you beautiful regardless. Good luck.

I totally agree. I get more compliments from non-blacks.

I always disagree when I hear people say this. Black women always compliment me on my hair and ask questions about it. The black man I married (and the ones I've dated in the past) have always loved my hair. My non-black boyfriends never really commented on my hair and non-blacks in general rarely ever say anything to me about it. Actually, the most comments I've heard from non-blacks was when I'd straighten my hair and they'd tell me how good it looks.

I get compliments from both black and non-black. I've had white men stop me to ask me questions about my hair and black as well. The only thing I can say is that I've had white male hairstylists ask and comment on my hair, but I can't recall any black male hairstylists!

HAMPTONSFNST wrote:I'm not in a an interracial relationship but more less an intercultural relationship. My boyfriend is Bajan American(first generation) and throughtout our courtship we have experienced differences because of cultural backgrounds. Even though we like different foods we share a common admiration for our love to one another and we wouldn't change that no matter where our families come from.

My boyfriend loves me for who I am and not what my hair looks like. In fact he requested I wear my hair natural on our wedding day, something I hadn't considered. Your boo loves you for you and that's something that shouldn't be overlooked or analyzed. God has blessed you with a partner that is genuinely loves you.

I'm a Bajan also. I've always been natural (my mom told me that my hair would fall out if I got a relaxer) and never caught any heat about my curly hair from any of my relatives (even the relaxed ones). What is your boyfriend's view about it? Did you meet him relaxed or natural?

My husband has always liked long hair, too. To compensate, I've been wearing hair pieces.

When I told him what I wanted to do, he was totally cool with it. I even let him do the big chop. Now that it is all said and done, he loves it.

Ok...... So I just asked my ex husband (he'sPuerto Rican & met me with relaxed hair and now is seeing my natural hair) about his thoughts (AGAIN!). He said he ABSOLUTELY LOVES my natural hair and wishes that I had done it a long time ago.

He actually had a hard time keeping his hands out of it this past weekend and seemed to be just as engrossed in shopping for hair care products the other day as I was! He was twirling my curls more than me!!! I think he is actually looking forward to it growing out more than I am!


Hey Jazz..... your baby girl is absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!! My daughter (now 19) was born with a head full thick straight hair and now it has big beautiful curls in it.

Im in an interracial relationship but my bf is Russian so he wasnt really exposed to black hair AT ALL until he immigrated to America...actually the first black girl he ever had contact with teased him because of his accent! but when we met I was natural but had a curly weave in but I took it out right before our first date and he asked my friend why I had cut all my pretty hair off lol. But he loved it then and he loves it now! He thinks its amazing all the styles I can wear and he absolutely adores it when I wear TnC's and Twist outs because its big and sexy! He's amazing. sigh. 2months til our first anniversary! hopefully many more to come!