LOVE natural curly hair!!

I am white with long, boring, straight hair. I have 2 daughters, 3 and 1, that are 1/2 black. The younger daughter doesn't have much hair yet, but my older daughter has 4a/3c hair past her shoulders. I just want to let everyone know how much I LOVE her hair and how much what all of you write has helped me so much. I am completely addicted to this site. When I read how hard it was for some women to cut their hair, stop relaxing, etc. I always wonder WHY? I would love, love, love to have the hair that any of you have. I wish I could switch hair with my daughter for about 6 months so I could really let the PJ in me out and experiment more with what works best for her. I just wanted everyone who reads this how much I love all of your natural hair and that I am already trying to brainwash my daughter about how beautiful her hair is so she will never want to add any chemicals to straighten it. Still, to each his own, but I hope she will always want to rock her curls!
Now, a few questions. I have a pretty good routine down, and numerous products to choose from, since I am a PJ and none of you help with that with all of your different suggestions. What is the difference between putting in a leave-in conditioner and moisturizing? After I co-wash her hair, twice a week at night, I usually put in Curls Coconut Dreams conditioner, detangle, braid and leave it in. Should I be adding something on top of the conditioner. Also, if I leave it in is that any different from deep conditioning? Thanks for your patience.

Welcome! I think it is SO awesome that you are doing the research and properly caring for you daughter's hair! If the leave in is water-based it can be considered moisturizing. Are you also sealing it? I'm not to sure about the condish question though....

Sometimes I am sealing it. I know I need to all of the time, but lately I have been putting jojoba oil on my hands and then finger combing it through her hair after putting in a leave-in. I have tons of shea butter, but I need to figure out what I can mix it with b/c using it alone makes her hair hard and stringy.

therese wrote:Sometimes I am sealing it. I know I need to all of the time, but lately I have been putting jojoba oil on my hands and then finger combing it through her hair after putting in a leave-in. I have tons of shea butter, but I need to figure out what I can mix it with b/c using it alone makes her hair hard and stringy.

You can mix Shea butter with ANYTHING!

Right now I use a mix of Shea butter, aloe gel, a little bit of condish, jojoba oil, and castor oil. I apply it to my damp hair when I do a Bantu knot out. When I'm ready to take it down it's a tad bit greasy but it's SO soft.

HEY Deep conditioning you can use many things like avocado , Evoo and honey i just love that deep conditioner mix and you can also use banana honey and Evoo , As far as leave in you have to seal it and jojoba oil is a great choice concentrate on the ends ... leaving in the conditioner and deep conditioning hair in my understanding and opinion might be 2 different things because deep conditioner is left for a certain amount of time and rinsed out and leave in is lighter and left in the hair
Shea butter you can mix it with anything and everything i mix some every 2 weeks each time i do it i swear it gets better i'll give you a simple one but you can make your own
2 spoon of shea butter , 2 spoon of coconut oil , 2 spoon of avocado oil , 2 spoon of jojoba oil , 2 spoon of EVOO and 2 spoon of castor oil, add 2 spoon of aloe vera gel add 1 tea spoon of honey as a preservative or you can add a teaspoon of vitamin e or tea tree oil
You melt the shea and coconut oil in the microwave or on the stove than you add all the oils together and mix it up a bit than put it in the freezer for about 5 minutes or until it's semi hard than get a fork or mixer and start whipping as you whip it add the honey and laoe vera juice whip it until it looks more like a cream or yogurt and VOILA whipped shea butter for a while
Any other questions feel free to ask

Thanks for this wonderful and encouraging post. It is so good to know that you are instilling pride in your daughters.

I agree with PP. I think that sealing it with some kind of oil such as jojoba oil, shea butter, or coconut oil is key to moisturizing your daughters' hair. I think that leaving a conditioner in the hair is different from deep conditioning because typically you let the deep conditioner sit for a while and then rinse it out. Lately, I have been using My Honey Child Olive You Deep Conditioner and I loooooooove it! I keep it on for 10 mins and sit under the dryer. Afterwards I rinse out with warm water. Another deep conditioner that I hear is good is Aubrey Honeysuckle Rose. I've not tried it yet but I do have it.

I have used the cantu shea butter for twists on my 5 year old's 4a hair. I just tried (yesterday actually) Kimmaytube's moisturizer mix and I loooovved it on her hair. I have her sleep in a satin bonnet at night and all is well in the mornings. I may add a little water to lift the twists that were slept on awkwardly
:-). Coconut oil mixed with EVOO is a good mix as well. I'm proud of you for asking for tips on what to do for your babies hair. KUDOS!

Hello and welcome. Check this site out for your daughter and for your personal info as well. She has done an amazing job with her daughter's hair.
http://www.beadsbraidsbeyond.blogspot.com/

I admire you learning about your daughter's hair and how to care for it. I would offer some advice that you don't try to brainwash her into loving her hair but to appreciate what she has. I'm sure that's what you were meaning but you don't want to use that word with her when trying to help her love her natural hair. Other than that I think you're doing a great job just by taking the first step on learning about what she has. Much love to you mom

thanks for the love, therese! I think a lot of black women struggle with going natural because in a lot of families, how to comb/take care of natural hair is not taught, so there is a reliance on relaxers. And we all have to go out of our ways to do the research. Thankfully natural hair blogs are becoming more and more popular.
And I think by your daughters simply knowing how to take care of their hair and seeing how versatile, healthy and beautiful it is, they will never want a relaxer. Go to Happy Girl Hair too. . .I LOVE her styles!
Keep Me Curly is also another good children's hair site, and I love looking at the pictures on Chocolate Hair/Vanilla Care
theres so much inspiration on the net!

Thanks to all of you for your help! I really appreciate it. Some comments:
Have AOHSR - love it!
Love shea butter for my skin and have made some mixes, but can't seem to get passed the greasy hard feeling it leaves.
Defintely want to make/try Kimmaytube's leave-in
Definitely need to get a satin sleep cap and a satin pillowcase for her.
Have seen happy girl hair and beyond braids, but WAY beyond my talents (I can't even french braid straight hair)
Love the name Chocolate Hair/Vanilla Care!
If it wasn't for all the blogs and all of you I don't know where I would be.

Go on YouTube and watch mllecafelaite. She has 3c/4a curls as well.

i think the leave in should be fine for a few days..but maybe throughout the week additional moisturizing may be needed whether it be a cream or a moisturizing spritz or something and washing 2x a week?? i know thats alot of work my mom hated doing my hair she would leave my hair in box braids for months almost dreading them then take em out she washed my hair w the braids in like every 2weeks my hair grew tremendously that way...good luck

Hi Therese,
Welcome and I think it's awesome you're researching so you can properly care for your daughter's hair vs. the easy way out with chemicals or straightening. I love Happy Girl Hair and Beadsbraidsbeyond and I don't have kids yet.

You said: "Have seen happy girl hair and beyond braids, but WAY beyond my talents (I can't even french braid straight hair)"

You can teach yourself. I think the ladies who manage those blogs did just that. Practice, practice, practice - will make perfect. Good luck!