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Love and War
by HairapySession 16th November 2009, 9:32 am
Here’s my story…
I got my first relaxer at the age of 11. Why? Well, both my cousins had one and so did ALL the girls at my school. I felt like an outcast! I can remember the day I got my hair relaxed. My aunt did it at home. At that time it was the happiest day of my life! My hair was long, silky, and straight. Therefore, I was beautiful. That was the day I fell in love with my hair.
I’ve gone through sooooo much with my hair. In high school it had to be bone straight. The flatter the better! My undergraduate days were all about my hair being bouncy and blowing in the wind. I would flatiron and curl EVERYDAY… sometimes twice a day! It was during these years that I fell in love with my 1” CHI flatirons.
Needless to say, years of scorching my hair took its toll. It was no longer straight, silky, or long. Therefore, I was no longer beautiful and that was a HUGE problem for me. My solution? If I can’t GROW long, silky, straight hair, why not BUY long silky straight hair? And so I did… I went from micro braids to single tracks to wigs! I was beautiful again. This was the day I declared war on my hair and fell in love with my 14” Remi Velvet 1b.
I never relaxed my hair in between the sew ins. I hated "take down day" because my hair was so dry and "nappy". As soon as water touched it, It tangled into knots. However it was growing and I was anxious to see what my hair looked like. So after a year of an unintentional transition, I relaxed my hair. It was the WORST DECISION I’ve made in my life to date. My entire scalp was burned and it was one HUGE scab over my whole head for about a month.
Back to the weaves I ran.
While browsing the web looking for my next hair style, I came across YouTube videos of ladies with natural hair. The thought of going natural was always in the back of my mind but I would write it off and say “my hair is too nappy for that”. I found myself searching the web for blogs and websites devoted to natural hair. The idea of relaxers and weaves began to seem silly to me? Why change something God gave me? Why buy something I already have? Why is my identity and self esteem tied into my hair? I can’t recall the exact date but I do know that this was the day I fell in love with myself.
It’s been 5 months since my last relaxer and I never plan on getting another one. I can finally say in all honesty that I love my hair and above all else I love ME! Even on those days when my hair looks like a giant ball of frizz, I’m confident. My only regret is that I didn’t surrender in the war with my hair years ago. But hey, I guess that’s all part of my journey.
Well, I'm off to teach the babies
I got my first relaxer at the age of 11. Why? Well, both my cousins had one and so did ALL the girls at my school. I felt like an outcast! I can remember the day I got my hair relaxed. My aunt did it at home. At that time it was the happiest day of my life! My hair was long, silky, and straight. Therefore, I was beautiful. That was the day I fell in love with my hair.
I’ve gone through sooooo much with my hair. In high school it had to be bone straight. The flatter the better! My undergraduate days were all about my hair being bouncy and blowing in the wind. I would flatiron and curl EVERYDAY… sometimes twice a day! It was during these years that I fell in love with my 1” CHI flatirons.
Needless to say, years of scorching my hair took its toll. It was no longer straight, silky, or long. Therefore, I was no longer beautiful and that was a HUGE problem for me. My solution? If I can’t GROW long, silky, straight hair, why not BUY long silky straight hair? And so I did… I went from micro braids to single tracks to wigs! I was beautiful again. This was the day I declared war on my hair and fell in love with my 14” Remi Velvet 1b.
I never relaxed my hair in between the sew ins. I hated "take down day" because my hair was so dry and "nappy". As soon as water touched it, It tangled into knots. However it was growing and I was anxious to see what my hair looked like. So after a year of an unintentional transition, I relaxed my hair. It was the WORST DECISION I’ve made in my life to date. My entire scalp was burned and it was one HUGE scab over my whole head for about a month.
Back to the weaves I ran.While browsing the web looking for my next hair style, I came across YouTube videos of ladies with natural hair. The thought of going natural was always in the back of my mind but I would write it off and say “my hair is too nappy for that”. I found myself searching the web for blogs and websites devoted to natural hair. The idea of relaxers and weaves began to seem silly to me? Why change something God gave me? Why buy something I already have? Why is my identity and self esteem tied into my hair? I can’t recall the exact date but I do know that this was the day I fell in love with myself.
It’s been 5 months since my last relaxer and I never plan on getting another one. I can finally say in all honesty that I love my hair and above all else I love ME! Even on those days when my hair looks like a giant ball of frizz, I’m confident. My only regret is that I didn’t surrender in the war with my hair years ago. But hey, I guess that’s all part of my journey.
Well, I'm off to teach the babies
Last edited by Heart*my*Hair on 1st December 2009, 1:37 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Subject)
HairapySession- Posts : 8
Join date : 2009-10-29
Age : 38
Location : Chicago
Re: Love and War
by Blackbeauty 17th November 2009, 5:30 pm
I love your story!! Its nice see people realizing everyday that their natural is not a curse. Good Luck on your natural journey,hope to hear more from you soon!!
Blackbeauty- Posts : 169
Join date : 2009-11-03
Age : 35
Location : Virginia Beach,VA
CocoEuro- Posts : 859
Join date : 2009-10-25
Age : 47
Location : Germany -
Re: Love and War
by QueenBi 17th November 2009, 8:20 pm
your story brings me joy. You have overcome so much with your hair and have finally started letting go and loving it. Happy 5 months!! I can't wait to celebrate your year anniversary. 
QueenBi- Posts : 6
Join date : 2009-11-16
Location : North Carolina
Re: Love and War
by QueenBi 17th November 2009, 8:21 pm
your story brings me joy. You have overcome so much with your hair and have finally started letting go and loving it. Happy 5 months!! I can't wait to celebrate your year anniversary.
QueenBi- Posts : 6
Join date : 2009-11-16
Location : North Carolina
Re: Love and War
by HairapySession 17th November 2009, 9:37 pm
Thanks so much ladies!! I'm very excited about this journey!!
HairapySession- Posts : 8
Join date : 2009-10-29
Age : 38
Location : Chicago
Re: Love and War
by CurlySpeechTherapist 17th November 2009, 10:17 pm
Wow. I truly enjoyed your story. Spread the word, girl!!
CurlySpeechTherapist- Posts : 119
Join date : 2009-10-28
Age : 45
Re: Love and War
by AfrikanLatina 17th November 2009, 10:28 pm
Great story. I'm glad that you love YOU!
AfrikanLatina- Posts : 1844
Join date : 2009-10-23
Age : 39
Location : Atlanta,GA -
Re: Love and War
by SheeTacular 17th November 2009, 10:35 pm
Welcome Fantasia!! I enjoyed your story.
SheeTacular- Posts : 1841
Join date : 2009-10-29
Age : 49
Location : Flint, MI -
Re: Love and War
by boingboing 21st November 2009, 11:54 pm
natural hair is so much healthier no scabs no chemicals way better
boingboing- Posts : 28
Join date : 2009-11-21
Re: Love and War
by beautifuleyez 24th November 2009, 7:33 pm
Thanks for sharing your story. You know we all have similar tales on our journey to love and acceptance of ourselves and our hair. The key for me is, is there somehow we can reach out to that eleven and twelve year old girl and let her know that she is and everything about her is beautiful!
I am glad that, like you I share a similar story, and if I am blessed with a daughter one day I will let her know that if she wants to relax her hair one day she can when she is older (like 25 yrs old..LOL) but it will be her decision and not in any way connected to her self image and self worth, like it was for me and so many others out there.
I am happy that the little girl inside of you has learned to love this part of yourself and I truly believe it will help you love yourself more, as it did for me. Congrats on choosing to embark on this journey!
Blessings
I am glad that, like you I share a similar story, and if I am blessed with a daughter one day I will let her know that if she wants to relax her hair one day she can when she is older (like 25 yrs old..LOL) but it will be her decision and not in any way connected to her self image and self worth, like it was for me and so many others out there.
I am happy that the little girl inside of you has learned to love this part of yourself and I truly believe it will help you love yourself more, as it did for me. Congrats on choosing to embark on this journey!
Blessings
beautifuleyez- Posts : 93
Join date : 2009-11-19
Age : 45
Location : Houston, Texas
Re: Love and War
by HairapySession 29th November 2009, 12:42 am
Thanks ladies! I'm sooo happy I found this site! I can count the naturals I know one one hand... two! So, you can prob imagine the stares and comments I've been getting. The worst comments come from my first grade students, lol. But overall I'm happy. I just can't keep my hands out of my hair. I'm looking forward from learnning from you all!
HairapySession- Posts : 8
Join date : 2009-10-29
Age : 38
Location : Chicago
Re: Love and War
by LilMsPuddles 29th November 2009, 12:51 am
off topic.... Can I borrow whats on your head? I like the pretty rainbow colors 
It's awesome!
It's awesome!
LilMsPuddles- Posts : 269
Join date : 2009-11-21
Age : 35
Location : Cleveland, Ohio -
Re: Love and War
by HairapySession 29th November 2009, 1:28 am
lol, thanks. It's an old scarf that I bought from forever 21. It was actually a last resort for what I thought to be a hair crisis. It actually turned into a good hair day. 
HairapySession- Posts : 8
Join date : 2009-10-29
Age : 38
Location : Chicago
Re: Love and War
by HairapySession 30th November 2009, 8:26 pm
I have to admit that I was (prob still am) a little envious of all the curlies who claim to have found their holy grail products. That's because I hadn't found any products that my hair loved. Nothing stood out to me so i continued to search. Result? Well, I now have what seems to be a mini beauty supply store on my dresser. Def not a good look.
Being the true PJ that I am, I didn't give up. I decided to see what all the hype over coconut oil was about. I headed over to GNC for natural coconut oil. I have to say that I think I've found the one. I LOVE it!!!! It makes my hair super soft and easy to detangle. I'm not a fan of the smell though.
Also, I ran across Organix coconut milk conditioner at Target. Although it has cones, my hair absoluetly loves it. This is HG status as well. I find it funny that my two new loves are coconut scented considering I hate the smell of coconut. So i'm wonder how long this love affair will last.
Now I need to fall in love with a sulfate free cleanser, conditioner, and deep treatment and I'm good to go! Wish me luck!
*****By the by, I have 4a/b hair. Got any recession friendly product suggestions?********
Being the true PJ that I am, I didn't give up. I decided to see what all the hype over coconut oil was about. I headed over to GNC for natural coconut oil. I have to say that I think I've found the one. I LOVE it!!!! It makes my hair super soft and easy to detangle. I'm not a fan of the smell though.
Also, I ran across Organix coconut milk conditioner at Target. Although it has cones, my hair absoluetly loves it. This is HG status as well. I find it funny that my two new loves are coconut scented considering I hate the smell of coconut. So i'm wonder how long this love affair will last.
Now I need to fall in love with a sulfate free cleanser, conditioner, and deep treatment and I'm good to go! Wish me luck!
*****By the by, I have 4a/b hair. Got any recession friendly product suggestions?********
HairapySession- Posts : 8
Join date : 2009-10-29
Age : 38
Location : Chicago
Re: Love and War
by SheeTacular 30th November 2009, 9:19 pm
I can't think of recession friendly products but I have a few tips. Look for coconut oil at grocery stores too. When they are close to expiring they are marked down. If you want to use up conditioners that you didn't like add an oil (that your hair likes I use olive oil) and some honey.
SheeTacular- Posts : 1841
Join date : 2009-10-29
Age : 49
Location : Flint, MI -
Re: Love and War
by HairapySession 1st December 2009, 12:38 am
SheeTacular_Napps wrote:I can't think of recession friendly products but I have a few tips. Look for coconut oil at grocery stores too. When they are close to expiring they are marked down. If you want to use up conditioners that you didn't like add an oil (that your hair likes I use olive oil) and some honey.
hmmm, that sounds like something I just mmight try. On another note, I have A LOT of family in Flint!
HairapySession- Posts : 8
Join date : 2009-10-29
Age : 38
Location : Chicago
SheeTacular- Posts : 1841
Join date : 2009-10-29
Age : 49
Location : Flint, MI -
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